Thursday, July 1, 2010


Day 104
Weight: 4 lbs 8 oz
Just a quick update:
Samuel's bottles went very well yesterday with the Simply Thick - but today have not been going nearly as well. It's frustrating to have a good day and then a bad day. Today he hardly took any of his bottle with the occupational therapist. The nurse gave him a bottle a little later in the day and nearly drowned him with the milk (but managed to get a little more into his belly than the OT person did.) I gave him a bottle tonight - he took the same amount as he did with the nurse but with a lot less fuss.
I found myself crying for the first time in a couple of weeks today. I find that its hard to see the end in sight but not get any closer to it. I so badly wish that Samuel wasn't in the main unit - it's obvious the noise bothers him. Samuel also isn't getting his primary nurses (Carolyn included) because they have been paired with other babies since the NICU is shorthanded. I find it harder to leave Samuel's bedside when he doesn't have a primary on.....because the other nurses don't know him.
It's not enough to say that I'm continually amazed by God's intervention in our lives. I was having a bad day today and one of the nurse practitioners (her name is Lori Lee) came up to talk to me. I told her that Samuel wasn't doing well with his bottle feeds. She surprisingly told me the same thing that I had been thinking....that Samuel wasn't handling the noise well. She said that she really feels for parents that have been in the NICU a while because they have no control over who takes care of their baby, what happens to the baby, and the environment of the baby. By that point I was trying to gulp down the lump in my throat. She hit on the exact thing I had been thinking. Instead getting embarrassed by my emotional overload, Lori did something I really didn't expect. She started to cry too. She gave me such a big hug - and then very quietly prayed a prayer for Samuel....that angels would be at his bedside helping him through this final stretch. I had no idea she was a believer. Again, I am amazed at God's excellent timing and his concern for me. If I were Him I would think "Ok Sarah, that's enough now. Suck it up. You're going to be fine." And maybe He will get to that point....but for now, I'm thankful for His mercy.


  1. Praying for you and that adorable, precious baby boy! God knew what he was doing when he placed Samuel in your care! He knew your heart and felt confident that you would devote yourself to this child. Your strength comes from the Lord, Sarah, and He will carry you and Samuel through this. I am praying especially for Samuel that he will become adjusted to the noise in the nursery and continue to grow and improve. Take care,sweetie...

  2. What a great reminder that God's arms are always open wide to pull us in, comfort and love us--even if it is through the arms of someone else! I will pray specifically that Samuel will quickly adapt to his new environment and will begin taking his bottles as well as before and that God will continue to amaze you more and more every day!

  3. Hang in there Sarah. It's always hardest when you are the end of the race and can see the finish line ahead. But you are getting there!!! Praying that Samuel adjust to the changes in his environment quickly. Between the room change and the feedings, it's alot for him to take in. Isn't it amazing when God places someone in your path just when you need His reassurance that He's there with you? Praying for you all always and especially that Samuel calms down and begins eating well again. Praying strength and peace for you specifically. We love you!!!!