Weight: 4 lbs 8 ozJust a quick update:
Samuel's bottles went very well yesterday with the Simply Thick - but today have not been going nearly as well. It's frustrating to have a good day and then a bad day. Today he hardly took any of his bottle with the occupational therapist. The nurse gave him a bottle a little later in the day and nearly drowned him with the milk (but managed to get a little more into his belly than the OT person did.) I gave him a bottle tonight - he took the same amount as he did with the nurse but with a lot less fuss.
I found myself crying for the first time in a couple of weeks today. I find that its hard to see the end in sight but not get any closer to it. I so badly wish that Samuel wasn't in the main unit - it's obvious the noise bothers him. Samuel also isn't getting his primary nurses (Carolyn included) because they have been paired with other babies since the NICU is shorthanded. I find it harder to leave Samuel's bedside when he doesn't have a primary on.....because the other nurses don't know him.
It's not enough to say that I'm continually amazed by God's intervention in our lives. I was having a bad day today and one of the nurse practitioners (her name is Lori Lee) came up to talk to me. I told her that Samuel wasn't doing well with his bottle feeds. She surprisingly told me the same thing that I had been thinking....that Samuel wasn't handling the noise well. She said that she really feels for parents that have been in the NICU a while because they have no control over who takes care of their baby, what happens to the baby, and the environment of the baby. By that point I was trying to gulp down the lump in my throat. She hit on the exact thing I had been thinking. Instead getting embarrassed by my emotional overload, Lori did something I really didn't expect. She started to cry too. She gave me such a big hug - and then very quietly prayed a prayer for Samuel....that angels would be at his bedside helping him through this final stretch. I had no idea she was a believer. Again, I am amazed at God's excellent timing and his concern for me. If I were Him I would think "Ok Sarah, that's enough now. Suck it up. You're going to be fine." And maybe He will get to that point....but for now, I'm thankful for His mercy.