Monday, September 16, 2013

Potty Training and School...Oh Boy!

You know what I learned by potty training my three year old?  I learned that the candy is for me...

Yes, that's right.  No candy, in any form, was going to get this kid to use the potty.  Why would it?  He doesn't like to eat!  No toy I could dream up would entice him to sit on it willingly.  I encouraged, praised, and danced around until my voice was hoarse and my back was sore.  And that three-day potty training plan (you know, the one that worked SO WELL for my friend's kids?) was totally useless.

But that's pretty much how Samuel has been his whole life.  He has been opinionated and strong-willed since the moment he decided to come early.  He is also a perfectionist.  If he can't do something perfectly, he doesn't want to do it at all.  Potty training is a messy business that he wanted nothing to do with.




We have been working at this for almost four months now.  It's much more difficult than I ever dreamed!!!  After the first three weeks, I was at my wits-end.  We were seeing a lot of the same behaviors from him at potty time that we had seen at meal time...and it finally dawned on me that potty training had become a power struggle.  So we stopped the pleading, the book reading, the sticker charts, the bribing, and the over-the-top excitement.  We gave him control over going #2 (he asks for a pull-up.)  He decorated his potty seat with dump truck stickers.  I had a good laugh over that one!   His therapists began asking him to potty at therapy.  And we finally made progress!

In four months we've gone from flat-out-refusal to willingly-sitting to happily-standing-to-pee. He still won't tell us when he needs to go, and he never takes himself to the bathroom, but I've seen a little more independence from him over the last few days.  I think we're getting close!  

And we're about to tackle going #2.  Wish us luck!

All that said, Samuel needed to be potty trained to enter the three year old preschool class at school.  I'm sure that if we had rushed him, he would have been ready in time.  But the thing is, I had planned to start him a year late in school anyway.

You see, he was born in March but due in July.  That's pretty close to the August cut-off date.  Having been a first grade teacher, I have seen how hard school is for those young, small, and immature boys.  Although he is very bright, Samuel is small and socially immature for his age (that's what two years of RSV isolation will do!)  


With that in mind, we decided to start him in the two year old class.  I'm working with the teacher and the administrator to see if it is the best fit for him.  Academically, he is ahead of his classmates.  They are working on shapes and colors....Samuel is beginning to sound out three letter words.  But he is making friends, playing with others, and learning to navigate the school setting.  He is doing great!

So we'll see!  Sometimes I wish parenthood was more cut and dry.  I wish that every kid responded the same way to a proven plan.  I wish every kid was at the same maturity level at the same age.  But that's not life and it takes a little trial and error to find what's best for our kiddos.

9 comments:

  1. LOL..had to laugh, "strong-willed, opinionated. perfectionist"! He's "Pop-up's" boy for sure!!!! And he has his big heart and loving nature too. He's just moving at his own pace and boys are always harder anyway. Hang in there honey...the breakthrough will come when you least expect it!!!

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  2. You could be talking about Charlie! We gave up trying the potty training when seeing the "eating behavior" just after 3. Tried again at 3 1/2 and it was months long. That whole potty trained by 3 for school thing is terrible. Luckily for us he went to public school preschool for developmental delays so he didn't need to be potty trained.

    We are also most likely holding him back a year with June bday and aug. due date - he's just so tiny and the feeding stuff is still bad. I can't picture school lunch yet.

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  3. I am glad that you are willing to give him more time to grow before starting school. I have a nephew who wasn't a preemie, but born in August and had speech delays. His mom and dad wanted to delay kindergarten, but the preschool teacher disagreed because he was doing well academically. He's now in high school and while his grades are fine, for lots of reasons, his parents wish they had listened to their gut. Also now with the school emphasis on testing, kids do a lot of sitting and paperwork even in kindergarten.

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  4. I am glad that you are willing to give him more time to grow before starting school. I have a nephew who wasn't a preemie, but born in August and had speech delays. His mom and dad wanted to delay kindergarten, but the preschool teacher disagreed because he was doing well academically. He's now in high school and while his grades are fine, for lots of reasons, his parents wish they had listened to their gut. Also now with the school emphasis on testing, kids do a lot of sitting and paperwork even in kindergarten.

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  5. Hi, I have been lurking for some time. Your kids are adorable. Was just going to mention that although my kids were born right on time, they (both boys) didn't train fully until pretty late, about 3 1/2. With the older one, it was completely a power thing. But once he did it, he did it all very quickly and never even needed pullups at night. Hang in there and good luck!

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  6. We've been potty training for nearly 6 months! It's exhausting! And I'm completely out of tricks. I just keep telling myself that she'll be potty trained before she starts kindergarten :) So glad Samuel is doing good with it now!

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  7. Great Name, Samuel was my Grandfather, My Father, My Brother, who is Decesased and My Name and I also Named my Lil Boy Samuel and Guess what our last name is Pope Their is alot of us out their I was shocked when I got samuelpope.com great blog God Bless

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  8. We are preparing to potty train our 17 month old son. Thank you for sharing your story.

    Kelly Brown
    http://pottytrainingsystems.com

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  9. Potty training is the worst thing ever, but I agree that if you do not push them and let them be in control like most toddlers want to be, they will do it more successfully. Hopefully, Annalee will be easier since she is not only a girl, but has a big brother to look up to as well.

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