100s

Today is our 100th day at home. It's also my 100th blog post. Just to show how many people have followed Samuel's journey...here are the stats for this blog. It's truly amazing.

All time pageviews: 28,832
Audience (in order of frequency): U.S., Canada, United Kingdom, South Africa, New Zealand, Hong Kong, Zimbabwe, Australia, Germany, and Japan.
Most viewed post: The Beginning (Posted on July 27th)

Life for us is getting better each day. Samuel is easier to take care of and he's a lot more fun to be around. His first and second month at home were difficult because he was so easily overstimulated. I couldn't play with him without him crying hysterically. These days he loves playing - with his rattles, with his teething book, with my hair...

I also find that I'm not as 'on edge' as I was those first few months. For so long our life had been one emergency after the next....and I was always tensing for the next blow. We've been at home 3 months. For the most part, it's been quiet.

I've gotten over the whole 'I-lost-months-of-my-pregnancy...was-given-an-immensely-stressful-situation...that-makes-me-really-sad' thing. Mostly. At least I don't feel like bursting into tears (or punching....*kidding*) every time I see a pregnant woman/new mother. That's progress!

Not going to lie, I wish I had a fast-forward button. I'd like to skip ahead a year and see how everything works out. "When did we FINALLY get off the oxygen? When did we get some sleep? How did we do during cold/flu season? How is Samuel progressing? Did he meet his milestones on time?" I always feel that way after reading other blogs of micro preemies. If I were smart, I would avoid reading them.

Samuel was off the oxygen all day yesterday (excluding his naps.) I think there was a revival in all of the prayer for him....you took a break from it and when I told you that he hadn't been breathing well the last week, you started praying and POOF - he's off the oxygen. Thanks!!!

Still no laugh. I've been waiting patiently (just as I did with the smile) - but so far my patience has not been rewarded. He makes sounds when he's excited and he smiles all of the time - even the open mouth I'm-going-to-laugh-now smiles. But no laugh. I've made silly faces, danced around in front of him....I guess I'm not funny. I wonder if he just can't make the sound because of the vocal cord stuff. It's like having a really bad cold. When you talk deep, everything comes out raspy and hoarse. When you laugh or talk in a higher pitch, nothing comes out at all. Samuel's crying and 'talking' is all raspy (but getting louder!) It makes me wonder if I'm not hearing him laugh because nothing is coming out???

I always imagined that once Samuel reached the weight of a newborn that he would look like a full-term baby. I quickly found out that wasn't so. As cute as I thought he was, I knew that he was the kind of cute that only his mommy could fully appreciate. Now that he's added a few more pounds, he's finally looking more like I think he would have if he had been full term. A few more weeks without a cannula may allow his droopy cheeks to fill in under his eyes. What a cutie-pie. For REAL. :)