Sunday, May 30, 2010


Day 72
Weight: 3 lbs 4 oz

Samuel is doing much better with the higher flow. He is still dropping his heartrate and oxygen level occasionally, but not NEARLY as often as he was. He hasn't gained much weight, but I'm thankful that he is more stable. The doctor hasn't made any changes for the last two days. I think we are giving him time to recover from this last adventure.
When Samuel gains another ounce, his isolete will be turned to room air temperature and we can dress him in clothes. I'm greatly looking forward to it. Finding preemie clothes is harder than I imagined! The ounce will also allow the doctors to do a study on Samuel's stomach to see if he is going to reflux and if his stomach will drain into his intestine properly. Then hopefully we should be able to try feeding through his stomach.
I've been thinking about my last post and I've realized that I have an audience as I struggle my way through this. That seems obvious since this is a blog - but sometimes I end up using it as an outlet for my moments of frustration instead of portraying the overall goodness of God's work in our lives.
We ARE blessed with some amazing nurses. I wouldn't have picked another doctor for Samuel. However, I'm not going to lie and tell you that it's easy to trust Samuel to anyone else....even God - who knows and loves him far more than I do. I found it easier to trust Samuel to God when things were so bad....when I didn't know if Samuel was going to make it....when every moment was life or death. Now that things have calmed down, I feel like I have more of a say about what is going on.....that I know Samuel better and have more control. I don't. You may feel like I should have learned that by now. It's harder than you think because Samuel is defenseless, I love him so much, and I'm ready to go home with him! Did I mention I'm also learning patience?


  1. You are amazing. You are allowed to vent. It never gets easier to allow someone else to make choices for your babies. We are praying daily for you all.

  2. I agree. It's okay to vent--even necessary. If you didn't, it would be unhealthy. You've got to release the bad energy so you can focus on Samuel.

    Think of it this way: put all of your frustrations and fears down in the blog, then let them go and let God. :)

  3. Hi Sarah! We've been traveling this weekend & talking about you & Samuel!
    We know it's not easy watching Samuel jump these hurdles & patience is a longterm goal for ALL of us! Somedays I think I have lots of it & others I can't seem to find it no matter what! God can! Get with God every morning & ask Him to give you wisdom & love & understanding no matter if you think it's going to be a great day or not . Just don't give the Devil a foothold in your day or Samuel's! God can & will continue to be in control of Samuel's growth & healing! You mean you're human? LOL ! We love you & are praying for you! God is using you in someones life & I don't think it's just Samuel. You are an amazing Mom & we are learning with you!

  4. Sweet Sarah..Google keeps messing up my password so here we go again. Honey, that is why you have you can release some of the pent up frustration and stress. Faith doesn't mean you never feel anything, just that you know in the end that He has it all in His hand. You have been amazingly strong and are a testament to courage. We are so blessed to have been able to share just a little of this stormy journey with you!! Praying continually each and every day for you all!!!!