Samuel's x-ray this morning didn't show any signs of the bowel perforation. The doctors stopped feeds for 6 hours just in case but began them again a few hours ago. We are going to be watching his tummy constantly over the next couple of days to make sure that things stay good. If Samuel continues to tolerate this very small amount of food, they will increase the amount so that he can gain weight. The amount they are giving him right now is so small that it doesn't have any nutritional value.
Tonight is Samuel's last night of antibiotics for the pneumonia and staph infection. Praying that those infections will not reoccur.
Because Samuel's lung condition doesn't seem to be improving, they have identified it as "chronic lung disease." He is around 40% on the ventilator today and hasn't come down on any of the settings. Tonight the doctors will begin giving him a steroid to increase lung function. The best case scenario is that the steroids work so well that Samuel comes off the ventilator permanently and has no side effects from the medicine. A potential side effect of steroids is cerebral palsy.
There is a little baby in Samuel's room who came off the ventilator today. He is two days younger than Samuel and quite a bit smaller than him too. This boy's mother got to see his face for the first time without the ventilator tubing and got to hold him in her arms. As I sat in the corner behind Samuel's isolete, I was reminding myself of God's plan. It's not always easy is it? A big part of me wanted to be happy for her - her joy was obvious. Another part of me is so heartbroken. Have we not prayed for Samuel since before he was born? Has he not been prayed fervently over ever since his birth?
And then, a nurse was talking to me about her experience with these premature babies over the last thirty years. She was telling me that the debate about premature babies is centered around what is considered to be 'viable life' - is a 23 or 24 week baby worth saving? Is the quality of life that they experience worth it? She says that statistically the odds are not good for these babies - but there are babies who do very very well - who led perfectly normal lives.
Hope is hard to come by some days. Some days I'm so full of hope that I can hardly contain myself. Some days I'm so overwhelmed that I can't think about the future in order to hope.....those days where I have come before God so broken; such as the day Samuel was transferred to Childrens. I prayed over and over, "Take him if it's Your will. I love him. I am begging you to let me keep him - but if that's not your will, then take him."
Today I had to dig a little deeper to find hope. I have to remind myself that Samuel's plan will not be the same as the baby's next to him. It might not be as easy, but Samuel's life is just as miraculous....if it's only to prove how unbelievably powerful the body of Christ is. No matter how early Samuel was born, Samuel's life IS a viable life because God created him. He is not a God of statistics - He is the God of love, peace, strength, and hope.
Please keep hoping and praying with me. :)
Tonight is Samuel's last night of antibiotics for the pneumonia and staph infection. Praying that those infections will not reoccur.
Because Samuel's lung condition doesn't seem to be improving, they have identified it as "chronic lung disease." He is around 40% on the ventilator today and hasn't come down on any of the settings. Tonight the doctors will begin giving him a steroid to increase lung function. The best case scenario is that the steroids work so well that Samuel comes off the ventilator permanently and has no side effects from the medicine. A potential side effect of steroids is cerebral palsy.
There is a little baby in Samuel's room who came off the ventilator today. He is two days younger than Samuel and quite a bit smaller than him too. This boy's mother got to see his face for the first time without the ventilator tubing and got to hold him in her arms. As I sat in the corner behind Samuel's isolete, I was reminding myself of God's plan. It's not always easy is it? A big part of me wanted to be happy for her - her joy was obvious. Another part of me is so heartbroken. Have we not prayed for Samuel since before he was born? Has he not been prayed fervently over ever since his birth?
And then, a nurse was talking to me about her experience with these premature babies over the last thirty years. She was telling me that the debate about premature babies is centered around what is considered to be 'viable life' - is a 23 or 24 week baby worth saving? Is the quality of life that they experience worth it? She says that statistically the odds are not good for these babies - but there are babies who do very very well - who led perfectly normal lives.
Hope is hard to come by some days. Some days I'm so full of hope that I can hardly contain myself. Some days I'm so overwhelmed that I can't think about the future in order to hope.....those days where I have come before God so broken; such as the day Samuel was transferred to Childrens. I prayed over and over, "Take him if it's Your will. I love him. I am begging you to let me keep him - but if that's not your will, then take him."
Today I had to dig a little deeper to find hope. I have to remind myself that Samuel's plan will not be the same as the baby's next to him. It might not be as easy, but Samuel's life is just as miraculous....if it's only to prove how unbelievably powerful the body of Christ is. No matter how early Samuel was born, Samuel's life IS a viable life because God created him. He is not a God of statistics - He is the God of love, peace, strength, and hope.
Please keep hoping and praying with me. :)
Sarah, we have so lived on the word HOPE since Oct 29th...Carla just posted this scripture this week "I WILL ALWAYS have HOPE: I will praise you more and more....... Psalm 71:14...Believing GOD! ...."thats says it all" He gonna be fine, just keep praising through the low times and praise even louder on the high times...i love ya girl
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ReplyDeleteSarah for the past few days in my spirit I keep hearing the word "presistent". I am committed to gain a deeper understanding of that word as I continue to pray for Samuel.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your open heart. We will pray for you and your peace and hope. The Body of Christ is amazing, when you are overwhelmed and cannot take any more, some else can. Just as the Israelites held up Moses' arms, we are out here holding you up.
ReplyDeleteI was honored to transport some gifts from your class to Michael. When I picked up the students' notes they were so excited about them, I hope you enjoy them and they lift your spirit.
Sarah I wrote you a note that Michael will be bringing you I sincerely HOPE it brings you confirmation of Samuels place in this world. I wrote that letter Monday. We love you all and are praying for you always.
ReplyDeleteLoving and praying for you all! BIG HUGS!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteSarah please know that Samuel is definitely a viable life! When you talk to him you let him know that because of him my baby girl has learned how to pray & her big brother has even started prayng at mealtime outloud (big deal for him).
ReplyDeleteMackimlee is going to be 4 in June & she doesn't forget who to pray for or how to pray specifically! He's given us hope & gotten us to teach our children & ourselves what we should do daily! I know this is small to some but the understanding of HOW many lives Lil Samuel has changed that we haven't seen yet is huge!! He's going to continue to guide people closer to Christ as he grows each day! "Now Faith is being sure of what we Hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1. We are continuing to pray & won't stop till Samuel says we can! "Blessed are they that have not seen and yet have believed" John 20:29. You are so very blessed Sarah & Michael & we are too! We love y'all!
Praying all day, everyday for Samuel. God has plans for him or he wouldn't be here. Hang on Sarah, he's a strong little guy with God's hand all over him and over you too. My heart aches for you and the roller-coaster you are on right now. I pray for the peace of God to be with all of you. God's mercy is great and He can do all things!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh Sarah, to open this today and see those beautful eyes looking at me...wow...money can't buy the feeling I just got...thanks so much...He is so wonderful...oh my...i could just go on and on...I love him so...
ReplyDeleteHe is such a beautiful little baby boy. Remi has added you and Samuel both to our prayer list at church. She really misses you and has made some pictures for you that I will be sending, she has been sick so we missed the deadline to send them to you on Friday. We are praying everyday that you get to bring the little bundle of joy home soon!
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