Samuel's Scrapbook

Not long after coming home from the NICU, we received the most precious gift from a friend of mine.  It was a scrapbook - filled with all of the photos, blog posts, and Facebook status updates relating to Samuel's journey.  When she gave it to me, I was completely overwhelmed.  It isn't the kind of scrapbook that someone gives away.  It's the kind you would do for your own family...the kind that takes an enormous amount of time and money to complete.

We have perused its pages countless times.  In fact, we wore out the original cover and had to buy a replacement!  We use it when we're sharing Samuel's story.  We look through it when we're having a bad day (what better way to be reminded that God is constantly at work..even in the tough times!?!)  And we often use it as a resource ("How old was he when that happened?  I can't remember!")

The scrapbook also includes relevant scripture, words of encouragement, and other little quotes of wisdom. My favorite is a poem, written on the first page.  It so perfectly describes this awesome journey we've been on.

Waiting

Desperately, helplessly, longingly I cried.
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I plead and I wept for a clue to my fate,
The Master gently said, "Child you must wait!"

"Wait?  You say, wait!" my indignant reply,
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is Your hand shortened?  Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked and am claiming Your Word."

"My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes,' a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign,"

"And, Lord, You promised that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking!  I need a reply!"

Then quickly, softly, I learned of my fate.
Once again my Master replied, "You must wait."
So I slumped in my chair defeated and taut,
And I grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed  then to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun,
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run."

"All you seek I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want - but you wouldn't know ME.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint;
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint."

"You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me,
When darkness and silence were all you could see."

"You'd never experience the fullness of love,
As the peace of the Spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I give and I save...(for a start),
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of my heart."

"The glow of my comfort late in the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked,
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have LAST."

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that 'My grace is sufficient for thee.'
Yes, your dreams for your loved ones overnight would come true,
But oh, the loss!  if I lost what I'm doing in you!"

"So be silent, my child, and in time you will see,
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know ME.
And though oft may my answers seem terribly late,
My wisest of answers is still but to WAIT."

I cry every time!

That's a little heavy...so I'll leave you with something more cheerful.  Here's a video of Samuel and Michael playing outside this weekend.  They were 'racing' (don't ask me why they had to lie flat on the ground!)  Yes, you can hear Samuel's scratchy squeal and laugh...but it sounds beautiful to me.