Friday, August 26, 2011

One of THOSE Moms

Before you have children, you have ideas about how motherhood should go.  How you will handle situations.  What you will or will not do as a parent.  How your child should or should not act.  You're certain that you've worked through each possible circumstance to get the outcome you desire.

Ok, so maybe not EVERY person does that before they enter parenthood...but I sure did.  Yes.  I had it ALL planned out...

Then came Samuel.
I thought:  I will not be the mom who feeds her child whatever they want.  My kid will appreciate all things healthy.  Vegetables - check!  Fruit - check!  Farmer's market every weekend - check!  I will be sure that my child is the healthiest imaginable.  After all, if you introduce only the healthy stuff, they should learn to love it right? 
Reality:  When you have a kid who doesn't like to eat much of anything, things change.  I'm the kind of mom that feeds him WHATEVER HE WILL EAT!!!  I put butter in his baby food to add calories and I salt his green beans.  He eats potato sticks and crunchies at every meal.  I would feed him pizza and soda if only he would eat and drink it.  Ok, not REALLY.  (Well maybe)... 

I thought:  I will not be the mom who takes her kid to the doctor every time he/she is sick.  Excluding my cancer treatment, my family rarely made trips to see the doctor.  I determined that I was NOT going to be one of those moms who took their kid in for every runny nose and cough.  Geez.  Let the kid get over it on their own. 
Reality:  As you know, I take Samuel into the doctor if he has so much as a sniffle.  LET'S BE HONEST - I take him into the doctor if he's even THINKING about having a sniffle.  Having a micropreemie with chronic lung disease has rocked my world...and I tend to err on the side of caution.

I thought:  I will not be the kind of mom who constantly talks about her kid and who obnoxiously posts pictures on Facebook of him/her.  Isn't that annoying???  It certainly annoyed me until I became a parent.  I wanted to tell those moms, "GET A LIFE!" 
Reality:  I have albums and albums and albums of Samuel's pictures on Facebook.  Why?  Because everyone wants to see pictures of my extra-superduper-cute kid!  Not really.  (Although, I must say, he IS pretty cute.)  It's my way of showing the world how their prayers have been answered.  It's me shouting, "Look at how GREAT our God is!!!  Look at what a miracle Samuel's life is!!!"

I thought:  Our world will not revolve around our child.  They really are out there...parents who take their baby everywhere with them.  People who make parenthood look like a breeze.  They go to sporting events, out to eat several times a week, and travel for hours with the baby in tow - a perfect baby who sleeps in noisy places, who eats whatever/whenever, who is happy in a crowd.  That was what I had envisioned for parenthood.
Reality:  This momma's life really DOES revolve around her baby.  We've spent countless hours sitting at home with a baby hooked up to oxygen and monitors.  We gave up all adult conversation in order to keep our son away from other people's germs.  We tip-toed around the house trying to stay quiet for a little one who seriously never seemed to sleep (as mentioned here.)  We are tethered to the house so we can make it back for mealtimes because of Samuel's feeding issues.

It took me a while to realize that being one of THOSE moms didn't mean that I was doing motherhood 'wrong.'  It means that I have had the opportunity to learn flexibility a bit earlier than most mothers do.  For me, it means putting someone else before myself in nearly every instance.  It means sharing and celebrating the milestones (that we've worked so hard for) with others.  When I think of it that way, it's pretty special to be one of THOSE moms.


  1. This is such a great post! I felt myself nodding my head in agreement throughout. Here's a question - have you ever felt other women are jealous of you because of the attention you receive because of Samuel? I know it it totally sick and twisted to be jealous of a micropreemie. But I guess I'm referring to other mom's who can critisize or speak ill of how we parent... when the underlying issue is jealousy It's something I've often thought of. Especially when I've been perplexed at someone's actions. Anyway, just something I was thinking about while reading this.

  2. Sweet Girl, You are an AMAZING Mom!!! You, Samuel and Michael are a blessing to us all, and I look forward to every single picture and comment you post. You are a testimony that God DOES answer prayers and Samuel taught us to pray fervently and specifically. Love You Super Mom...Joey

  3. Excited to be a new follower of your blog! This post made me laugh. I had some lofty goals about how I would be as a parent, too, until reality hit. But my curve ball wasn't in the form of extreme prematurity, but just regular prematurity and triplets. Samuel is blessed to have you as his mommy!

  4. This was funny and true. With my first child, I parented just the way I had imagined I would. Then came the twins, 16 weeks early, and everything changed! I have had the thought I would feed Cade anything, cookies and cake included, if he would just eat it. Luckily, he now does. Loved this post and the cute pics of Samuel.

  5. I just found your blog (and thanks for your comment on mine!). I think this is such a great matter what, parenting is not at all what you imagine it will be prior to having kids. To throw in all the issues of extreme prematurity...well, from what I've learned watching my dear friend Jessi and reading other blogs, it brings joy and life to the little things and gratefulness for the big things. That's something us mamas of full-termers can learn from you.